I've only just realized something very important. I am not who I was, ever. I am not the me I was yesterday, last week, last month, last year, or 3 years ago. I am FINALLY who I want to be, and the validity of that has hit me hard today. I can't make someone see who I am who doesn't know who they are. All I can do is know who I am in my own heart, and continue to be that person for MYSELF. Sure, I was stupid in the past, and I changed myself for people, but doesn't everyone make mistakes when they're 16 and 17? I changed so much for someone who to this very day is the exact same person I once knew.
Now I know I'm mature, evolving, kind, loving, strong-minded, positive and hopeful. I love my tattoo, I love my piercings, I love my hair, I love my body. I am who I want to be and I won't ever allow someone to take that from me again. And from this point on I won't let people allow me to feel hatred for long, and eventually not at all. I am Siobahn, and I know who I am, and no one will ever take it from me. No one. Not some naive childish piece of shit, and no man. I won't compromise myself ever again. Ever.

I'm Only Passing By

All the promises I gave you, helped me to survive.
And all the times I wished you'd save me,
you were the love of my life..

It's so funny how it takes one thing, or one person, to make other things, or other people, insignificant. One thing, and the page can finally turn, and the new chapter can begin. I can feel my life falling into another stage, I can feel myself wanting to change a little more, grow a little more. Lately it's been almost effortless for me to enjoy all the smaller things in life. It mostly has to do with me, but that's not to say a certain man in my life isn't helping by putting a smile on my face every damn day. I even smiled as I typed that. I'm a sappy ball of mush, but that's kind of all I can be right now! I'm happy. :)

God or the devil alone could not have made you up,
two must have worked as one together.

Lay Low Why Don'tcha Now?

I find it harder and harder to blog. I think my teenage angst is fading.

I guess I'll give the shortened version of my summer, since my energy to do this whole personal blogging thing is quickly fading. (I was just distracted for like 5 minutes, lol) Anyways, this summer I fought with my parents constantly. Made a mistake. I fucked my ex. I wanted him back. Made a mistake. Stopped messing with him. Fought with my parents some more. Started messing with him again. Failed chem. Met a wonderful man. Insert "Had fucking amazing times with my wife and co." between most of those, and you've got my summer. Compared to last summer, it was amazing.
Now I'm back at my second home, sitting in my new dorm room, waiting for my boy to finish watching his anime so he can come back to me on Skype. We'll talk about him another time though, when it's not so new.
I guess I kinda missed this blog after all..