I don't understand why he even started this in the first place. I keep wasting my time on guys who CANNOT handle me. Who don't understand what the fuck being with me REALLY entails. I am just so fucking desperate to be loved again, fully, completely, that I overlook TOO much shit. Just way too much. I keep getting hurt and I keep saying I'm fucking done, and then I wind up right back where I started, falling for some man who doesn't even fucking deserve me. I had SEX with him. I broke my fucking celibacy for him. HOW COULD I BE SO FUCKING STUPID?! I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't know if I wanna fight for this or just let it go. I don't fucking know.