How Did We Get Here?

I almost always get the things that I want. It's the people that tend to fall through the cracks, or don't quite fit. I wish that wasn't so. The things that I hope for could be the things I have, if I just tried. I'm pretty hypocritical when it comes to honesty. I appreciate it from others, and although I'm an honest person, I am not both open and honest. It's an awkward way to live when people are always telling you things and you are half-telling them back. I feel bad about it sometimes. Like maybe if I was just completely out there with my shit I'd feel better, but I feel okay keeping it in too.. I don't really know. I'm really just venting. It's frustrating being at odds with yourself. And my best friends are barely around this summer. Then again, I don't know if I'd be perfectly honest with them either. Such is life. I'll learn sooner or later..